I feel as though society has gotten so far away from the basics and the importance of working together as a "village" to raise our children into productive citizens. I guess many people may have their own idea of what a "village" is, but my perspective is that of anyone who has regular contact with our family. This can be immediate family (within the home), extended family (outside the home), teachers, coaches, babysitters, etc.

When I state: "It Takes A Village" I mean that all of these people have to be looking out for what is best for the overall well-being of the village (community).  There should be checks-and-balances/quality control within the village and everyone must accept responsibility and accountability for any mishaps or failure within the village. 

For example, we have a large amount of young parents who do not have the proper guidance to be healthy parents. Instead of allowing these parents to fail, the community must do all that they can to hold the parents responsible for their shortcomings and hold them accountable in the future. You may. be thinking that this is already in the works, but I think NOT!

I see hand-outs and responsibilities being shifted onto everyone except the parents that need to be held responsible. "Hand-UPS" such as parenting classes, anger management classes, domestic violence classes, work performance education, etc. are better ways to help these parents, than just handing out money.  Handing out money to those who don't know how to budget, save, and prioritize is the worst solution that has been used for years.  Teach them how to properly spend money (and hold them accountable for all money spent) and we shall see a better and more productive use of these funds.

There are many other examples that I could share, but I will leave it here for awhile and add more later. Feel free to email me with your thoughts: carthurmft@gmail.com.

Due to changes over time, adolescence is roughly recognized between the ages of 10-17. At 18 years of age, one is technically considered an adult…..Right?! But that is a completely different subject!
 
Let me begin my stating that overall, parenting can be very challenging since it requires an abundance of time, energy and patience; while at the same time, parents nowadays get almost no training to accomplish this demanding responsibility and children are not born with parenting manuals. I think that many people have gotten away from the idea that it truly “takes a village to raise a child.” I don’t believe that in the literal sense, but I do believe that a positive outside influence is very helpful in child rearing. For instance, as a parent/guardian, we can repeat helpful advice to our children and feel as though we are being unheard. An “outsider” can provide the same helpful advice to our child and for some miraculous reason; our child will actually listen to his or her advice! This should not frustrate us, as the parent/guardian because the most important factor is that the child finally acknowledged the positive advice. As children, they tend to zone us [parents] out because we are the disciplinarians as well as the “advice-givers”. Our children tend to only focus more on the “pain” that we inflict with discipline, so when we try to help them, they can’t understand that it is our job to discipline AND provide helpful advice and guidance.
 
PLEASE NOTE: When I mention “pain” I don’t mean criminal harm. I am referring to the discomfort of losing privileges due to undesirable behavior as a consequence (i.e. loss of video game or cell phone privileges, etc.).
 
I know that I got a little sidetracked, but now I shall move on to parenting adolescents:
 
Parenting can be very demanding, especially at the stage of adolescence. A healthy balance of time, patience and energy is needed at this stage of development and due to everyday busy schedules; it becomes difficult to commit to the necessary time, patience and energy (especially if you have multiple children). Many parents/guardians become either overbearing or not attentive enough at the age of adolescence and this is common because this is a very confusing stage of development for parents as well and it is difficult to understand exactly what the adolescent needs. This is a good time to seek help in order to gain and keep a healthy balance.
 
At adolescence, a child is experiencing new emotions due to the new stage of human development, and can be drawn to seek different experiences: good or bad, as these are very curious and impressionable years. Adolescence becomes a scary time when an individual may feel torn between being a “child” and wanting to be an “adult”. Mixed emotions are common as well as undesirable behavior (defiance, running away, defensive and/or aggressive conduct, isolation, lack of motivation/laziness, etc.). At some point of maturity in adolescence, I consider them “adults-in-training” and believe that to be the perfect time to prepare them for adulthood, thus removing the confusion between being a “child” and being an “adult.”
 
Many parents/guardians raising adolescents claim that they get angry with their children too often and vent their anger in negative ways, and they end up feeling ashamed about it. I want these parents/guardians to know that they are not alone and I have worked hard to create a program that can help them. My “Stay On Track” program was not created to replace the parenting role; it was created to provide education to help your adolescent think in a more healthy and productive way. This helps the adolescent to make better decisions in self-care and self-management, thus creating a positive path for growth.
 
In a perfect world, our children would always choose the right things to do in life, but this is not a perfect world and we cannot expect our children to be perfect. I state to you parents, please don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek help when you need it. Professionals like myself, are here to help you.